Posted by: whvarner | September 8, 2009

The Road Not Taken (and why I wish it had stayed that way)

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference

- Robert Frost

Ahhh, the allure of independence, free will, and personal freedom. The free spirit in all of us knows that the road less traveled is the one to take. It’s where all the surprises and excitement exist. It’s where spontaneity is born. It’s where all discoveries occur. It’s the path that seduces our “Inner Lewis & Clark” to push ’round the next bend in the river. But if you’re a patient with a rare disease navigating a health system, the road less traveled can be a downright lonely and inhospitable place.

Let me explain.

crossroadsI just had a visit with the transplant team at MCV on August 25th and it looks like I’m at a crossroads in the progression of my liver disease. Here’s a quick review of the facts. I’m on the transplant list, but with a relatively low MELD score. As I’ve mentioned before, the MELD score quantifies just how sick a liver patient is, and consequently establishes the priority in which available livers will be provided for transplant recipients. Complicating matters is the fact that while the MELD score effectively measures severity of illness in the vast majority of liver patients, it is a notoriously unreliable measure for patients with my specific condition, Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis (PSC).  So, although I’m on the transplant list, I’m so far down the list that it’s unrealistic to expect a match from a deceased donor any time soon.  While I wait for a liver to become available, I face a risk of cholangiocarcinoma (bile duct cancer), a known risk for patients with PSC and very-nearly a terminal diagnosis (NOTE: There is still a great deal of controversy related to liver transplants in patients known to have cholangiocarcinoma. While cholangiocarcinoma can’t be considered a purely terminal diagnosis, the outcomes are very grim. The most recent issue of the medical journal Transplantation sums up the issue nicely in the abstract found here). So, my crossroad has two choices: (1) wait, and hope that I don’t get cancer, or (2) try to move the timetable up dramatically by identifying a living donor.

In the meantime, I’ve been seeking the advice and guidance of the transplant team at MCV, and I’ve been getting two widely divergent sets of opinions from them about the course of action I should take. Here’s a quick, highly oversimplified summary of their views and of mine:

  • The Hepatologist: Believes I should wait patiently. He is not a fan of living donor transplants because he believes the complication rate for the recipient is substantially higher than in a deceased donor approach. He also feels that the risks associated with the surgery actually outweigh the risk of getting bile duct cancer, given my current MELD score.
  • The Transplant Surgeon: Believes I should move ahead aggressively with a living donor option. Prefers the living donor approach over the deceased donor option. Says that while living donor complication rates used to be higher than with a deceased donor, the gap has nearly closed, and in the specific case of his patients, the complication rates are the same. Is very concerned about the risk of cholangiocarcinoma.
  • Me: I believe I am a better-than-average risk for the surgery. I’m otherwise healthy and have a high level of understanding about what is required post-transplant in order to stay healthy. I further believe that I am a worse-than-average cancer risk. I have nothing to quantify this assumption, nor do the physicians have any hard evidence to counter my assumption. Admittedly, I’m placing significant weight on the risk of cancer as a result of spending the last 22 months of my mom’s life watching her die from cholangiocarcinoma, so my motives may be more emotionally driven than quantitatively driven. Bottom line, I’d like to be transplanted now and a living donor could make that possible.

Although the hepatologist and the surgeon don’t see eye-to-eye on my case, I remain 100% convinced that they are each spending an extraordinary amount of time studying my specific situation, and that they are each providing me with the best advice based on their individual medical judgment. The fact that they disagree has nothing to do with being right or wrong, and has everything in the world to do with making decisions based on incomplete data. I’m unusually fortunate that my team of providers not only tolerates my routine input, challenges and opinions, they have actually encouraged it. They have expressed appreciation that I am so willing to be vigilant about my condition, to study the latest data, and to be actively engaged in my care. To be candid, not all health care providers appreciate that level of involvement. I’m thankful that mine do.

So, although we don’t all agree, not surprisingly we’ve all settled on a compromise. I’m now on 90-day cycles for visits to MCV. When I’m there, I’ll go through the usual battery of blood work and physical examination, but I will also meet with the surgeon and/or the hepatologist. They have agreed to look beyond the MELD score and have indicated that they will be asking for more of my input related to symptoms I’m experiencing. Catherine has pointed out that I have a tendency to gloss over how poorly I’m feeling, and that now isn’t the time to be stoic. I’m a very lousy patient in that regard, since I find few things as unpleasant as talking about how sick I am. I thought I could hold off that conversation for another 40 years or so once I was institutionalized with my fellow octogenarians somewhere. No such luck. So, every 90 days we’ll go through the same debate again: transplant now or transplant later.

I should point out that PSC patients get accustomed to this level of ambiguity very quickly, but it’s no less frustrating just because it’s typical. Most PSC patients spend months, even years undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. After diagnosis, the course of action doesn’t get much clearer because there’s so little known about the disease, its cause, and treatments. Let me offer a quick synopsis of a common conversation someone newly diagnosed with PSC might have with their physician. All of the following is based on actual experiences…

  • PSC Patient: Wow, so I’ve got this disease. Any idea what caused it?
  • Doc: We have a few theories. It might be an autoimmune disease, but we really don’t know.
  • PSC Patient: I did some reading and see that a transplant may be required. Am I going to need a transplant?
  • Doc: You might, but we really don’t know. The disease manifests itself very differently in different people.
  • PSC Patient: So, what’s my prognosis?
  • Doc: I don’t know.
  • PSC Patient: Is there any chance my kids will get this? Should they be tested?
  • Doc: No, no. PSC is not known to be hereditary.
  • PSC Patient: Wait a second. My mom had PSC. Doesn’t that seem strange if it’s not hereditary?
  • Doc: I didn’t say it wasn’t hereditary. I said it wasn’t known to be hereditary. Big difference.
  • PSC Patient: Wow, do you use a scalpel to split hairs that thin?
  • Doc: What…huh?
  • PSC Patient: Sorry, that was supposed to be a joke. I understand there’s a risk of getting cancer. I guess we should monitor that pretty closely, huh?
  • Doc: I wish we could. Unfortunately there’s no real reliable test for cholangiocarcinoma.
  • PSC Patient: Okay, well what do we do now? Is there any sort of treatment?
  • Doc: Well, “treatment” may be too strong a word, but we do have some pills that you can take (Ursodiol). There’s no clear evidence that they work. In fact, we’re pretty sure they have no impact whatsoever on the course of the disease, but at least they are outrageously expensive.
  • PSC Patient: I don’t have any symptoms now. When can I expect that to change?
  • Doc: Sometime between tomorrow and 30-40 years from now. Did I mention that the disease progresses at very different rates in different people?
  • PSC Patient: Yes, you mentioned that. Is there anything more that I should know?
  • Doc: I don’t think so.

Maybe the little one-act play above portrays an unreasonably cynical point of view, and there is definitely a small-but-growing body of knowledge that is being slowly accumulated as more research is conducted, but in general, this is what life is like when you have a rare disease. I’ve met with numerous physicians who have dedicated their careers to studying liver diseases, and a small handful of physicians whose field of study has been focused exclusively on PSC. In both instances, the body of research and quantitative data that they can rely upon is pitifully small. Worse yet, in many cases the new research absolutely contradicts the earlier research (e.g., Ursodiol. Remember, that’s the incredibly expensive drug I have been taking in megadoses diligently since September 2000. I had been cautioned that it might not actually affect the underlying disease and that it could possibly just make my lab scores look better. Well, the most current research indicates that high doses of Ursodiol actually INCREASE the rate of bile duct cancer vs. patients who take nothing at all).  So my exchanges with physicians gradually become less about data and research and more about hunches and intuition.

Okay, a quick reality check. It would be fair to accuse me of exaggerating in my description above to make a point, but I think most PSC patients who read this will recognize the frustrations associated with the ambiguities of our disease. Before I am accused of spreading misinformation, though, here are some hard facts. There is no known cause for PSC. There is no known prevention for PSC. There is no known treatment for PSC with the exception of a transplant. The few treatment options that exist are focused almost solely on managing symptoms. What works for one PSC patient may have no effect on another.

So, this is the road less traveled, albeit probably not the one that Robert Frost had in mind. The path is being carved daily and there are as many dead ends as there are discoveries. In the words of my six-year-old daughter quoting Rabbit in Winnie the Pooh’s Heffalump Movie, “This expedition is fraught with danger.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Posted by: whvarner | August 3, 2009

Theresa Varner (December 5, 1943 – August 4, 2008)

Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis (PSC) is not generally considered to be hereditary although instances of it occurring within the same family are not unheard of. In fact, my mom had PSC and also required a liver transplant. She was diagnosed with PSC in her mid-50s, but a review of her medical records suggests that it is likely she actually had the disease 20 years prior and no one recognized it. This is all-too-typical for PSC.

She spent most of the last 10 years of her life far sicker than I have been, since her PSC was particularly aggressive and was joined by PSC’s typical partner-in-crime, ulcerative colitis. She continued to work full time as the director of the Public Policy Institute with the AARP in Washington, DC long after she could have left work on disability. I lost track of the number of times we tried to convince her to take disability and to focus on getting herself well. Her own physicians had frequently broached the topic with her, but she could not be persuaded. Bottom line, she saw disability as a stigma, and worried that her co-workers and friends might think less of her if she chose that route. She also was extremely passionate about her team at the AARP and was reluctant to leave them behind. Only those closest to her knew the full seriousness of her condition since she had become quite adept at hiding her pain and discomfort.

My mom worked diligently to determine the best place to have her liver transplant and in 2006 settled on Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida. At the time, not only were they one of the highest volume liver transplant programs in the country, but they also were at the forefront of liver transplant research, had very good outcomes and an incredibly short waiting time for transplant — less than two months. This was critical to my mom, whose condition was deteriorating rapidly.

DSCF0034

With Will on Christmas Eve 2007

By 2006, she finally agreed to take a leave from work in order to relocate temporarily to Florida so she could be close to Mayo where her transplant would be performed. During this time, she lived at the Inn at Mayo Clinic and nearly every day she returned to the hospital for further tests. Her sister, Rosemary Hamilton, and a lifelong friend, Jeannie Robison, each provided round-the-clock care for my mom during this time. Their help was vitally important, because It was clear to all around her that she was getting weaker by the day. Jeannie had been with my mom for several weeks assisting with her care and keeping her company when on Sunday, October 8, 2006 the phone rang informing us that a donor liver was available. We knew this was only the first step in a lengthy recovery, but began to breathe a sigh of relief knowing that at least The Wait was over. It was Jeannie who knocked on my mom’s bedroom door to wake her and to let her know it was time. Jeannie later shared with us that my mom’s first reaction was, “This is great. Now, what do I wear to a transplant?”

The transplant was as close to flawless as I believe is possible. There were only the most minor signs of rejection, the majority of which were addressed by refining the mix of medications she was taking. The change in her condition was dramatic. Her jaundice faded hour-by-hour and she spent most of her time walking the length of the hospital hallway, each time aiming for a slightly more distant goal than the last. She was the model patient.

Just three days following her surgery, everything changed suddenly. I was in the hallway speaking to one of the nurses when Dr. Rosser, her gastroenterologist, appeared. He had been very engaged in every detail of my mom’s care, and had already dropped by several times each day following the surgery to answer questions and assess the status of the recovery. On this day, though, he approached me and asked that I join him in my mom’s room. As we entered, he pointed to the chair at the foot of the bed and directed me to sit down. It was clear that something was wrong, and Dr. Rosser wasted no time getting straight to the point. “I’m afraid I have difficult news to share with you.” We learned immediately that this was an understatement. In conducting the examination of the removed liver following the transplant, the pathologist discovered that my mom had cholangiocarcinoma, or bile duct cancer. Despite the fact that the liver had been removed, the recurrence rate for cholangiocarcinoma is 90-95%, and even that number was worsened by the fact that she was taking immunosuppressing drugs. Dr. Rosser explained that this diagnosis was “inconsistent with long-term survival” which is physician-speak for a terminal illness. He wouldn’t commit to a specific amount of time that she could be expected to live, but he made it clear that time was precious. My mom and I held hands and cried while Dr. Rosser continued to explain the consequences. After deciphering the web of percentages, timetables and treatment options that he presented to us, we understood that she could have as little as six months, and under the most positive of circumstances might be able to extend that to a couple years.

I’ll never forget how quiet the hospital room seemed when he left, or how difficult it was to see and hear other transplant patients celebrating milestones in their recoveries just outside our door. Until you or a loved one have faced a prognosis as grim as this, you never realize how much day-to-day conversation is focused on future events: planning for vacations, planning for retirement, taking time off at the next holiday, the never-ending flow of catalogs displaying next season’s clothes, getting your car inspected, celebrating birthdays. All of it seems so mundane until your future, and specifically the duration of your future, is called into question. Then these inescapable topics become cruel and ironic. Needless to say, this was an extraordinarily hard time for all of us.

However, my mom was not one to wallow in self pity. Far from it. In fact, her immediate reaction upon hearing Dr. Rosser explain her prognosis was to say, “That must have been very difficult for him to do. He’s such a nice man and I wouldn’t have wanted to get that news from anyone other than him.” As was typical, her first response involved how others were impacted by this news. When she finally did focus on herself, she said, “Well, this is actually good news. Now it’s very clear what I need to do. I’m going to resign from my job. I’m going to spend time with those wonderful grandchildren.”

In DC 2 006

Reading with Julia, Summer 2008

She lived another 22 months after her transplant. She made that time as enjoyable and productive and meaningful as was possible, given the gravity of the prognosis that hung over her, and the severity of her symptoms which limited her ability to do as much as she wanted. She spent precious time with her grandchildren, Julia and Will. Anyone, even strangers, that ever spent more than a few minutes with my mom knew that Julia was the shining star in her life. She couldn’t restrain herself from bragging about Julia, showing pictures and telling stories. The two of them were literally inseparable. Even in the final weeks and months when mom was bedridden, Julia insisted on sleeping in her bed with her, helping with her bandaged hands and feet, singing for her and reading with her. Will, who was only 3 when she died, has also recently begun to let us know how important Grandmommy Resa was to him. He talks about her frequently and asks when her “genie” will be coming back (it took us a while to realize that her “genie” was her spirit). Will also made one of the more poignant remarks a few weeks ago when he said, “I’m sad because I can’t remember what Resa’s voice sounded like.”

We’re probably all starting to forget some of the details, but it’s hard not to recognize that mom’s “genie” is with us whenever we play the piano, or listen to classical music, or whenever Julia pours tea from a pot. We all miss her terribly, but we see her more often than we expected.

Posted by: whvarner | July 26, 2009

It’s Official: I’m On THE LIST

On Tuesday, July 22, 2009 I was contacted by the Medical College of Virginia informing me that I’m officially on the liver transplant waiting list. About a week ago, following a meeting with the transplant surgeon, I had been told that I could expect to wait at least 3-4 more weeks before being notified about whether or not I had been listed. So I wasn’t fully braced while going through the routine course of checking voicemails to hear that I’ve joined the ranks of the 1000 other individuals and their families in Region 11 who are also waiting for the next liver to become available.

I’ve been bracing for this day since September 1, 2000, the day I was diagnosed with primary sclerosing cholangitis, and have known since then that a transplant would almost certainly be in my future. In the corners of my mind, I held out hope that my case would be somehow different and I would magically be able to avoid such a severe measure. For the first few years following my diagnosis, that seemed to be a potentially realistic outcome since my symptoms ranged from non-existent to inconsequential. However, during the past two years, and especially during the past 6 months, I’ve been on a different trajectory altogether. My symptoms and their considerable disruption to my life have reached the point where I welcome the opportunity to discard my malfunctioning liver and replace it with a newer model straight from the showroom floor (or at least gently used).

So, what happens next? Read “How to Get a Liver 101” to find out.

Posted by: whvarner | July 18, 2009

Meeting the Surgeon and Getting Sicker Quicker

On July 14, Catherine and I spent the day meeting with Dr. Rob Fisher (transplant surgeon), Dr. Todd Stravitz (hepatologist) and April Ashworth (one of the transplant coordinators) at Virginia Commonwealth University. Although it has been eight years since my initial diagnosis, all prior visits had been to the hepatology team, so this was the first opportunity to meet the surgeon.

In addition to being a transplant surgeon, Dr. Fisher is the program director of the liver transplant program at MCV. We were very impressed with him, his experience, and his level of knowledge about transplant programs nationally. He was instrumental in bringing the living donor transplant protocol for livers to the US, was involved in the first living donor surgery, personally conducted the second living donor surgery in the US, and has also personally conducted all 118 of MCV’s living donor surgeries to date. Simply put, this dude knows his stuff. We also learned that fewer than 10 liver transplant programs in the U.S. have conducted more than 100 live donor surgeries, and MCV is among those. I was amazed that Dr. Fisher stayed with us for nearly an hour-and-a-half until our substantial list of questions had been exhausted. After he left, April Ashworth, one of the two Senior Liver Transplant Coordinators stayed another 40 minutes providing additional information about the transplant process. Bottom line, now that we’ve met the front-line team, we have the the highest level of confidence that MCV is the right place for me to be.

Here’s what I learned from the meetings with the above individuals. Although the MELD score is the accepted standard for measuring the severity of liver disease and is used by UNOS to allocate donor livers, it is a notoriously unreliable measure in patients with my condition, primary sclerosing cholangitis. So while my score is only a thirteen (out of a range of 6 to 40), both the surgeon and the hepatologist agree that it’s time for me to be listed. So, with their formal recommendation to UNOS, I can expect to be “listed” in 3-4 weeks. However, once I’m listed the odds of actually receiving a liver are unusually small, because the livers are allocated based on the MELD score.

So, what can I do to improve my odds? What I really need to do is raise my MELD score, and this is where things get crazy. Since the day I was diagnosed, I’ve been taking high doses of a drug called Actigall (generic name Ursodiol), which thins my bile and helps it pass through my very constricted ducts. There is no clear consensus about whether the Actigall in any way changes the progression of the disease, but there is consensus that it makes my lab work appear to be better, and that is the problem. If my goal is to raise my MELD score, now is not the time for good lab results. What’s the best way to fix that? Stop taking the Actigall, the one medication I’m taking that has even the slightest potential for therapeutic benefit. Stopping the medication will almost certainly raise my lab results, hopefully enough to make a material difference to my MELD score, which will then improve the likelihood that I’ll be high enough on the priority list to actually receive a liver. The downside? My symptoms will probably worsen, and I may even do more damage to my liver.

The other option, which Dr. Fisher pushed aggressively, involves finding a living donor. In this type of surgery, a portion of a donor’s liver is removed and transplanted in the recipient. Making this possible is the remarkable fact that the liver can actually regenerate itself, meaning both the donor’s remaining liver and the recipient’s partial liver will be restored to full functioning capacity within a matter of weeks. There’s only one little detail that makes the living donor route a bit difficult…finding a living donor.

So, there are the two options available to me: spend as much as two years on the transplant list waiting for a liver from a deceased donor while facing the risk of cancer during the wait, or speeding up the process by finding a living donor willing to voluntarily subject themselves to 10-12 hours of surgery, several weeks of recovery and the risk of a variety of potential complications. Simple as that.

On Monday, May 18th, I completed several days of pre-transplant testing at the Medical College of Virginia (MCV) in Richmond, Virginia. There are essentially two purposes for this testing: (1) to determine if I am physically and mentally fit enough to endure the stresses I’ll undergo during and after the transplant, and (2) to establish baseline measures on a number of procedures so the transplant team will have a basis for identifying changes in my condition after the transplant. As diagnostic tests go, these were pretty routine: colonoscopy, liver ultrasound, nuclear stress test, pulmonary function test, chest x-ray, etc. There were also plenty of “interviews” with, for example, the social worker, financial counselor, psychologist, and transplant coordinator.

Other than some scheduling goof-ups, these tests were pretty uneventful, but I can’t miss the opportunity to share the delightful experience that is the Stress Test. This had been described in advance as a treadmill test, so I arrived with walking shoes, ready to hit the treadmill.  The transplant coordinator kept telling me how tired I was going to be after this test, but I dismissed that under the assumption that I was a little more fit than the typical stress test customer. This assumption was….what’s the word….uh, wrong.

During the typical stress test, the patient walks briskly and/or runs on a treadmill until their pulse reaches a predetermined rate. A nuclear dye is injected in order to illuminate the vessels of the heart which are scanned before and after exercise. Simple enough.

uglybuthonest

Complicating matters just slightly is the fact that the hepatology team prefers to have the stress “chemically induced” rather than created via some sort of strenuous effort like a brisk walk. I didn’t appreciate the impact that would have on the remainder of the day, but it was significant. It also explains why I give the Truth in Advertising award to the the accurately named Stress Test. It’s not a “Coronary Artery Test” or a “Treadmill Test”…it’s a Stress Test.

That should have told me something.

So, here’s the scene: I’m on a stretcher, a nurse is intently reviewing an electrocardiogram to my left, another nurse is on my right flicking a syringe of persantine (the chemical stressor), another nurse is by the door of the exam room (in case I make a run for it?), and a nurse practitioner is at my feet, armed with an antidote to the persantine in case things go poorly. They explain to me that after the persantine is administered, all of my blood vessels (let’s review…they said “ALL”) would dilate, causing my heart to beat faster, essentially creating an effect similar to vigorous exercise, especially if during exercise you are accustomed to your heart leaping from your chest and your eyeballs spinning in their sockets, in which case this is EXACTLY like exercise.  The nurse practitioner further adds that I might experience a headache, nausea, dizziness, and tightening across my chest.  She asks me to let them know if any of the symptoms become unbearable because, as she explains, “We don’t want your heart stopping.” I assured her I was onboard with the plan, especially the “heart-not-stopping part.” I was then instructed to “breathe normally.” Right.

So in goes the persantine injection, and everyone in the room immediately looks at their watches. Now, to me it seemed awfully premature to be recording the time of death but, given the description of the various risks and side effects that I might experience, not beyond the realm of possibility. As it turns out, the persantine’s effectiveness peaks at 2 minutes and 45 seconds after the injection, so they were all bracing for the precise moment when my chest might detonate. I have to admit that the initial impact of the injection was not altogether unpleasant, and I just felt a little flush. After that, though, the whoosh of blood through your body becomes increasingly louder, to the point that I felt as though it must have been audible to those around me. I thought a little chit-chat might help lighten the mood, but immediately discovered that “casual” was not a mood I could evoke with clinched fists and tightened jaw. I had overheard the nurse practitioner talking about her dog earlier, so I asked, “What kind of dog do you have?” At least that was the question that I expected to ask, but what came out of my mouth was a series of high-pitched squeaks and hisses that must have resembled panic more than curiousity, causing the nurse practitioner to lean forward intently in her chair. I quickly replayed the odd sound in my head, hoping to confirm that I hadn’t said anything that might have been misinterpreted as, “Please jab the antidote into my sternum.” Scrambling for a non-verbal solution, I gave everyone a quick, strained smile, and they each resumed their at-ease postures.

Well, I survived the test, apparently with flying colors, and was escorted back to the waiting area to enjoy my spent heart and nuclear headache. The nurse who brought me out suggested that I get a coke since that would help reverse the symptoms and the discomfort. One might expect that since it was common knowledge that a caffeinated drink would help expedite the recovery, the staff might have an ample supply of these on hand. One would only expect that if one hadn’t been to MCV before; these guys know as much about customer service as the Governor of South Carolina knows about hiking the Appalachian Trail.

As a quick aside, my favorite among MCV’s recently implemented customer service efforts is the WalMart-inspired “greeters” posted at the main hospital entrances.  I’m sure this idea looked great on paper, and I’ve actually seen it implemented effectively at other organizations, but MCV’s effort is enough to make you laugh. The greeters look as though they’ve been assigned to their post as a form of disciplinary action against them, or because they lost a bet. Most of them have a remarkable ability to avoid engaging patients and family members in any way possible, even if you stand 10 feet in front of them and look lost, which I have done in an effort to see if they could be baited into action. For the record, they can’t.

Anyway, back to my coke. At this point, it helps to understand that although the procedure is over, the blood vessel dilation is not, and that seems have a serious impact on a variety of functions: hearing, vision, stamina, balance, patience, speech, reasoning, etc. Essentially, any function requiring oxygen is impaired. So, while finding a coke sounds like an easily manageable task, to me it was an Epic Journey. I stumbled from the waiting room, with each step creating mini seismic events through my head, only to discover that three of the four elevators to the first floor were out-of-order, and the fourth was behind a long line of grim-faced patients and their families. It seemed noteworthy to me that no one else was as agitated as I was by the delayed trip to the first floor, so I opted for the stairs. Anyone who knows me well knows that I typically take the stairs if: (a) the building is on fire, or (b) I have been shoved. But in this case it was my only realistic alternative to the elevator. I finally made it to the ground level, found the machine (“Exact Change Only” of course…started feeling like I was being tested) and sat wild-eyed on the floor next to a trash can (no joke) restoring my blood vessels to their appropriately constricted state, one sip-at-a-time. Within a matter of mere minutes (if by “mere” you mean “just over 300″) I felt fine, fully restored.

This is a test I hope to not soon repeat. In fact, fear of a repeat performance of the Stress Test is enough to make me promise to choose from the Heart Healthy items on the menu next time I go out to eat.

Posted by: whvarner | May 1, 2009

What About Nutrition?

I’ve always found it puzzling that, throughout the course of my diagnosis and treatment for PSC, not one healthcare provider has ever mentioned the potential impact that nutrition can have on the disease. Not a single primary care physician, gastroenterologist, hepatologist, nurse, etc. has even uttered a word about it. On those occasions when I have brought up the topic and raised questions, typically with my hepatologist, he has been quick to dismiss the potential for nutrition to have any meaningful impact on the disease, its progression, my prognosis, or my symptoms. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not operating under the illusion that I can eliminate my PSC by eating better. My eyes are wide open to the fact that I’m stuck with PSC and that a transplant is the only real “treatment” option available, and even that, technically, does not eliminate the disease. However, I’m also aware that everything that I eat during the course of a day has some impact on my liver. It also seems obvious to me that some of the things I eat may have a detrimental effect on my liver, other things may have no effect whatsoever, and some things may actually have a positive effect.

That’s why I have begun making more of a nuisance of myself in pushing for some expert guidance on a nutrition plan tailor-made for my individual circumstances, and until recently my questions have fallen on deaf ears. So if the best clinical expertise that I can access seems underwhelmed by the value of nutrition, shouldn’t I just accept their feedback and move along? My answer to that is a firm “No” because I believe this is a profound blind spot among a large portion of physicians and other clinicians practicing in hospitals and academic medical centers today. To be sure, there are exceptions to this blind spot, so I’m talking about tendencies and trends rather than universal, unanimous truths. I should also acknowledge that I am part of the health care industry, not as a clinician, but working as a VP for strategic planning and communications in a Virginia-based health system. So, having worked in hospitals for the past 20 years, I might have an insight into the inner workings of the industry, but I also have to admit that I’m directing some blame at an industry I’m part of. Fair enough.

Here’s what I’ve seen from the inside. For most physicians, nutrition is a tool they pull from the toolbox for one reason only: obesity. This shouldn’t be a real surprise since obesity has become one of the most serious public health issues of the 21st century. The latest statistics suggest that about one-third of Americans are obese, having a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 30 or higher. Consequently, physicians have grown accustomed to obesity being the most common nutritional issue they face. As a result, nutrition has become synonymous with weight loss and counting calories, and that severely underappreciates its far broader potential.

By the way, according to the Centers for Disease Control, as we become more obese, the risk for the following conditions increases:

  • Coronary heart disease
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Cancers (endometrial, breast, and colon)
  • Hypertension (high blood pressure)
  • Dyslipidemia (for example, high total cholesterol or high levels of triglycerides)
  • Stroke
  • Liver and Gallbladder disease
  • Sleep apnea and respiratory problems
  • Osteoarthritis (a degeneration of cartilage and its underlying bone within a joint)
  • Gynecological problems (abnormal menses, infertility)

If the risk of “liver and gallbladders diseases” increases with weight gain, it seems reasonable to expect that it’s possible to reduce (but not eliminate) the risk of further damage to our livers by dropping a few pounds — especially anyone whose BMI is in the “obese” range. So, even if obesity were the only health issue we could tackle by focusing on a more rigorous nutrition plan, this would be quite an accomplishment that would take a significant burden off our hearts and improve the odds of a favorable surgical outcome.

But I think we should expect far more from our physicians, and even from our health insurers when it comes to providing advice and guidance around nutrition. I think we should expect a plan that helps us go beyond losing weight, and that broadens our focus on eating healthful foods that strengthen us, foods that don’t overburden our livers, and foods that may even help prolong our lives. I find it ironic and disappointing that my health insurer will gladly cover $600-700/month to pay for my dosage of Ursodiol, which even my hepatologist admits its probably having no impact at all on the course of the disease other than making my lab results look better, but they won’t pay $100-150 for a single visit to a nutritionist who can probably have a meaningful impact on my health (by the way, my health plan will pay for a referral to a nutritionist only for newly diagnosed diabetes patients).

Here’s the last thing I’ve got to say about this. After seven years of visits to a hepatologist, I was recently able to get a referral to a nutritionist. I’m not sure if my hepatologist finally had an epiphany, or if I just wore him down. Either way, my insurer still does not view the visit as “medically necessary” so I’ll be happily paying for the visit out of my own pocket. I am already very disciplined and informed about what I eat, and I don’t need to lose any weight, but I can tell you that I learned quite a lot in my hour-long visit with the nutritionist. I also have a renewed since of control, which can be priceless for those of us with PSC since there’s so little we can do to affect the trajectory of our illness. Nope, I’m not cured. And yes, I still need a transplant. But on the day I receive my new liver, I’ll be as healthy and strong as I possibly can be, and I will have stacked the deck in my favor to have as positive an outcome as possible.

Posted by: whvarner | March 21, 2009

Things Start Getting Real

Dr. Luketic finally called me back with the results of my lab work from March 11th. Rather than just leaving a message on my cell phone telling me exactly what the labs looked like, which he has frequently done in the past, he asked me to give him a call back. This alone put my anxiety level on “Standby” status. So I called him back immediately and the news wasn’t what I wanted to hear. My liver enzymes were elevated considerably. Now, when I hear something like that, a part of me actually experiences some relief, since it at least offers some explanation for why I’ve felt so miserable lately. But from a longer term perspective this was alarming news, since for the last several years my lab results have been just marginally out of the normal range, and haven’t always seemed to be correlated with the ups and downs of how I’ve been feeling. This lab work definitely marks a turn in my condition. Dr. Luketic went on to say that my liver currently has no dominant stricture (which it has had in the past) and that the elevated labs appear to be the result of the more diffuse strictures that are present throughout. This is discouraging since the dominant strictures have proven themselves to be manageable with endoscopically placed stents, while the diffuse strictures will continue to cause deterioration of my liver because they are basically “untreatable” — a word no one wants in their medical vocabulary. If I had been in the mood to play “Let’s Be Careful With Our Adjectives” with Dr. Luketic, I would have suggested “unrepairable” over “untreatable” since my liver, just like a broken window pane, can’t be “repaired” but it can definitely be “replaced.”

Dr. Luketic seemed to know where my mind was already, and switched gears to the topic of the transplant. This part requires a brief education on the concept of MELD scores. MELD stands for “Model for End-Stage Liver Disease” and is a quick measure for determining the degree of a liver patient’s illness. This becomes a critical measure because it can help determine the degree of urgency for being formally placed on a transplant list and the degree of priority for being allocated a donor liver. Here’s what Dr. Luketic explained about each level of the MELD score:

SCORE WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
0-10

Too early to really determine anything meaningful from the score.

15

At the Medical College of Virginia (MCV), once patients hit 15, you are evaluated for readiness to be on a transplant list. Assuming the evaluation goes well, you are then placed on a list.

25

The stage most transplant patients have reached at MCV when they receive their transplant.

35

Too late to be a viable transplant candidate.

40

Dead

 

During my appointment in January 2009, I was at a 10. During my visit a week ago, my score had elevated to a 12. Ordinarily, although this is not positive news, it would not be cause for significant alarm because I’m still at a relatively low score and not nearly as ill as some of the people with whom I share waiting room space during our quarterly visits to the Hume-Lee Transplant Center in Richmond. But Dr. Luketic had two things on his mind. First, he was concerned that the score had changed two points in so short a period. This could potentially be a new trajectory in the progression of my condition. Second, he acknowledged that his judgment was probably being unduly influenced by a patient he had just seen whose score was at 12 three months ago, and who just today is at 30. In other words, he wasn’t feeling comfortable taking any chances with a “Wait and See” approach. Neither was I, so we both quickly agreed that although I was not yet at the threshhold level (a 15) for the transplant evaluation process, we should go ahead and initiate that process. If things continue to decline as rapidly as they have over the past month, I’ll already have the evaluation behind me and can be listed right away. If things slow down, it would be necessary to update some of the tests from time to time. Without hesitation, I agreed that I wanted to go through the full pre-transplant workup ASAP.

Dr. Luketic then said, “I know this is a lot to take in, and it’s a very serious decision to be making late on a Friday afternoon when you just learned of this five minutes ago, so if you want to take some time to think about it, this can wait a few days.” It wasn’t until then that I realized a couple things. First, for the past two years since my mom’s transplant, I have always had the perspective that I wanted to be transplanted as soon as possible. Other than the liver condition, I’m in good shape, and it seems obvious to me that a relatively healthy body will have a better transplant outcome than one nearer to death. That philosophy has resulted in my being eager to move things along as quickly as possible, so when I was asked about the possibility of doing the pre-transplant workup and getting listed, I heard my mouth say “yes” since it had rehearsed its lines well and delivered them on cue when we moved from dress rehearsal to live performance. The rest of me wasn’t so sure, but decided to stand behind my mouth’s boldness. After all, there appeared to be no realistic alternative.

The other thing that I was just realizing, and this is a lesson that should be firmly committed to memory in order to avoid repeating, is that a phone call of this nature should not take place on a cell phone while sitting alone in the car parked in the driveway. I had returned Dr. Luketic’s call on the drive home from work, and suddenly found myself idling in the driveway, staring at the back yard. Life-altering news deserves an audience, or at least a safety net, and all of mine were in the house, barely visible through the glare on the kitchen window, so I hung up the phone and took the twenty steps to the door — my first steps as someone acknowledged to be dangerously ill. My first steps as someone who could no longer delude himself about the possibility of avoiding a transplant. Ah, a little of the molasses legs with some tunnel vision thrown in for added effect. So, through the kitchen door I go, and I’m immediately met with, “Dad, we’re going to the movie. Can I PLEEEAASSE get a treat?” Nothing like an entry from a six-year-old’sList of Life’s Biggest Concerns” to help you downshift into the world of more mundane matters. It also helped me realize that it was a fine time to have a treat.

So we did.

Posted by: whvarner | February 8, 2009

Symptoms Start to Escalate

December 2008 through January 2009 proved to be very difficult and brought some new additions to my existing symptom portfolio which already includes itching and fatigue. I’ve now turned a nice shade of yellow — not exactly the “canary” variety, but more of a tasteful light pastel that’s most noticeable in what used to be the whites of my eyes. Only my vanity suffers on this one, but the yellowness is typically joined by nausea which has all but eliminated my appetite. As a result, I lost even a few more pounds over the holidays.

The other thing I’m now dealing with is insomnia. I had already experienced occasional bouts of something like this, but in retrospect that wasn’t really insomnia, it was my sleep being temporarily disrupted by fierce itching. My insomnia seems altogether different in that it is not always caused by itching and is far more persistent. I’ll go to sleep by 11pm or midnight, and within an hour-and-a-half, I’m wide awake.

It may be important at this point to explain that I love sleep. I have historically been able to sustain myself on about 5-6 hours of sleep each night, so I’ve never been the type that needs 8-10 hours to feel rested, but I still LOVE sleep. I’m also a firm believer in naps, although I rarely get the opportunity to indulge in them. So sincere is my belief in naps that I’d like to see a sanctioned 20-minute Power Nap each afternoon during the work day; I’m convinced it would result in another 1-2 hours of productive time (by the way, I’ve never proposed this at work for fear that it would be interpreted as laziness, but I support the concept 100%).

Back to the insomnia, and now this self-professed sleep lover is facing nights of about 1.5 – 2.5 hours of sleep. I can do this for a few nights. I can even go a week. But shortly thereafter I have found that my sanity begins to erode. During my first prolonged struggles with insomnia, I made a concerted effort to stay as positive as I could and saw the additional awake hours as productive time. I’d come downstairs each morning at about 2am and get caught up on work, read the news online, do some miscellaneous surfing, watch a movie, or read a book. Prior to this, I had always thought insomnia meant that you were awake because you weren’t sleepy. The truth is far more insidious — my body is completely exhausted and wants desperately to go to sleep, but I just can’t make it happen. So I shuffle through the following day, zombified, nauseated and itching like I’m on fire.

During this time, I felt like I had entered a new chapter in the progression of my PSC, and one that I didn’t care for. My doctors prescribed something for the nausea, moved me from cholestyramine to rifampin for the itching, and put me on Ambien for the sleep. Unfortunately, nothing really touched the nausea, and the Ambien would knock me out within 15 minutes, but by 2am I was up again. The latter was corrected by switching me to Ambien-CR which has proven very effective, although I intensely dislike needing to take something every night just to sleep.

By January 2009, I was still feeling pretty miserable and my hepatologist was sure I needed an ERCP to open the common bile duct back open. I’ve never looked forward to an ERCP as much as this one, so you can imagine my disappointment upon waking from the procedure to learn that they were unable to stent me since the common bile duct, and the ducts that branch immediately from it were wide open. A few weeks later I had an MRI to determine if there was a mass causing a blockage somewhere within my liver. I already have a golfball-sized mass that was discovered there two years ago, so I wondered if it had grown. The MRI determined that the mass had not grown, and that my deteriorating condition was not the result of a dominant stricture, but rather diffuse strictures all throughout the microscopic ducts that cannot be treated endoscopically.

This was pretty unwelcome news since it now puts me in a stage of my disease that has no real treatment option other than managing the symptoms. Fortunately, within a week or two of the ERCP, my symptoms started to subside somewhat. The nausea comes and goes, as does the itching, so it’s obvious to me that I was having some sort of acute attack in December 2008 and January 2009. Ultimately my hepatologist confirmed that this had all likely been a bout of cholangitis, and that I could expect to experience similar events more frequently in my future.

Posted by: whvarner | June 30, 2007

Most of 2006 and 2007

The majority of 2006 and 2007 were focused on managing the few symptoms I was having, particularly the itching. During 2007, I began having stents endoscopically placed in the common bile duct of my liver. Each time I had a stent placed, my doc would also take the time to sweep out any stray bile stones. Almost without exception these provided considerable, though short-term, relief.

In the beginning I had more than a little anxiety about the procedure. To be honest, anything that starts with “We’ll be placing a tube down your throat” tends to make me uneasy. But I’ve learned to view the stents as a good thing since their impact on my symptoms has been dramatic. The downside of the stents is that they have to be replaced every three months. Of the numerous stents that I had placed, I had complications only twice. One stent somehow slipped out of place a few weeks after being inserted, requiring an additional procedure to return it to its proper location. On another occasion, I ran a fever (103.7) and had to be hospitalized overnight. This was definitely not pancreatitis, but was very likely caused by the manipulation of the liver during the procedure.

In late 2007, I had a stent removed and did not replace it with a new one. This was something that my doc had attempted earlier in the year, since the stents can often cause the common bile duct to remain open on its own. The first time this didn’t work, but the second time it did, and I managed to enjoy most of 2008 stent-free. My symptoms had subsided for the most part, and I learned that I could easily tolerate two or three nights of itching a week without needing to return for a stent. I was also beginning to experience some discomfort (the classic “upper right quadrant” discomfort associated with PSC) but this too was only uncomfortable and not debilitating.

Posted by: whvarner | February 16, 2007

The Onset of Symptoms

It’s possible to be asymptomatic with PSC for a very long time, and that was the case with me. I was initially diagnosed on September 8th, 2000, but it is very likely that I had the disease at least two years prior to that. For years I was symptom free and able to feel rather smug and complacent about my condition. I considered a transplant to be only a distant possibility. I took very good care of myself and didn’t do anything that might make my condition worse, but in general PSC was a background issue and little more than a footnote to my day-to-day life. 

That all started to change during the Christmas holidays in 2005. For two or three nights between Christmas and New Years, I was bothered by bouts of itching. At this stage, the itching was relatively minor but nonetheless troubling. I tentatively dismissed it as little more than dermatitis from wintertime dry skin. In the back of my mind, though, I knew that this itching felt somehow different. I also knew that itching is a classic symptom of PSC in many people (most eventually experience some combination of jaundice, fatigue, itching, abdominal swelling, and pain). What I didn’t know was that these bouts of itching were child’s play compared to what I would soon experience.In March of 2006, the hammer came down…hard.

During a meeting at work, the itching struck. I could barely sit still, and focusing was nearly impossible since my attention was consumed with my discomfort. I pulled a close friend aside immediately after the meeting and told him what was going on. He helped me get my head back on straight long enough to call my physician and describe my condition. I could tell by my doctor’s reaction that this was not good news, but he proposed some quick bloodwork to rule out any other possible causes for the itching. By the next day, he had enough evidence from the bloodwork (i.e., elevated liver enzymes) to suggest that I was having an acute issue, almost certainly related to the liver, but still of unknown origin. He proposed an MRI which I would have to wait 10 days for.

Now, it’s important to understand here that this is not your run-of-the-mill itching. This isn’t a bad bout of poison ivy. This isn’t dermatitis. This is mind-numbing, debilitating, painful itching. The medical term for it is pruritus. Pruritus can actually disable its victim, and make working difficult if not impossible. In many instances, those with pruritus injure themselves by scratching, to no avail, and will frequently develop wounds as a result of their creative efforts to find relief. At its worst, intractable itching has even been known to cause the occasional suicide. While I won’t be going there, I can certainly understand why this might drive someone to such extreme measures. This itching is alive, vibrant, electrified, and completely inescapable. When I’m experiencing it, I usually have a significant sense of claustrophobia because the itching seems to close in on you and doesn’t give you room to breathe, think or relax.

So, to say that my 10-day wait for the MRI was long is an understatement. I suffered mightily. I could usually get myself to sleep by loading up on Benadryl, which can take some of the edge off the itching and, in my case, knocks me out. But I was generally up again by within less than an hour and frequently could not go back to sleep. During this time I got anywhere from 45-90 minutes of sleep each night. QR29HZ8TK5Y6

Posted by: whvarner | February 13, 2007

The Initial Diagnosis

I was diagnosed with Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis (PSC) on September 8, 2000, at the age of 35. Primary sclerosing cholangitis is a disease in which the bile ducts inside and outside the liver become narrowed causing restriction of the flow of bile through the liver. This results in inflammation and scarring of the liver, and ultimately damages the liver cells. It’s not good, and while there is no cure, the disease can be succesfully “treated” via a liver transplant in many cases.

Like many people diagnosed with PSC, I was not originally experiencing symptoms of any kind. In fact, I was feeling fine. I had piqued the curiosity of my family physician because I had recently been declined for life insurance coverage following peculiar results on the standard screening bloodwork. Specifically, the insurance company believed that I was a chronic drinker since several of my liver enzymes were well outside of normal ranges. I’ll never forget the very condescending and patronizing call from the insurance company representative asking about my “drinking habits.”

  • THEM: “So, how many drinks DO you have every day?”
  • ME: “Well, none really.”
  • THEM: “Uh huh…is it possible you are forgetting how many? Have you ever had long periods of time you can’t account for, or have you ever blacked out?”
  • ME: “What? Blackouts?!? No, I don’t drink.”
  • THEM: “Uh huh…maybe you should talk to someone. I can refer you to a counselor.”
  • ME: “I don’t think I need a counselor. I just want insurance.”
  • THEM: “Uh huh.”

Let’s just say I didn’t get insurance then and I only have group insurance now through my employer…and I still don’t drink. At this point, my physician still didn’t know what was wrong, but he knew something wasn’t right. His initial diagnosis was that I must have gallstones, but an ultrasound quickly ruled that out. He then repeated the bloodwork to validate the results, but that didn’t provide any new information either.

Well over a year later my mom was diagnosed with PSC, and when I informed my physician of this, the puzzle pieces started to come together. While PSC is generally not believed to be hereditary, my doctor recognized that my lab results were consistent with PSC and ordered an ERCP procedure. The ERCP is a delightful experience that involves running a fiber-optic tube into your mouth, through your stomach, into the intestines and up into the liver to illuminate the ducts. My results were available immediately since the ERCP displayed the classic signs of PSC: where a healthy common bile duct looks like a straw, mine looked like a “string of pearls” with constrictions every few millimeters.

I would later learn that several of the features of my experience up to this point were not uncommon to those diagnosed with PSC or other chronic liver conditions:

  1. I was relatively young.
  2. I felt fine.
  3. The first sign of “trouble” was strange lab work.
  4. I was inaccurately diagnosed or “un-diagnosed” for a lengthy period.
  5. An ERCP offered the only definitive diagnosis.

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